OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
