im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
