Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Randomize
