Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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