So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Fuck appropriateness.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
