Whod you bang
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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