I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
