Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the day after is always just damage control
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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