Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
