ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
