He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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