fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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