You just made me feel so damn special
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
