Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
