how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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