Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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