walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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