Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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