Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
