So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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