Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
