we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
