Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
