Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
