Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
