i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
