Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
