Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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