Acid is not a monday night drug
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
