And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
