I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
