Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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