Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
