also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
it's like heaven, but drunker
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
