I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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