But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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