You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
