i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
