I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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