Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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