I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
