He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
