i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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