So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Randomize
