Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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