just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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