Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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