Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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