Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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