Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize