lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
