he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
