OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
