I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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