Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
