i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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