you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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