don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
