Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize