i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
